TV Schedules; -not exactly "what you see is what you get"!

    There are penalties in place sufficient to dissuade manufacturing companies from advertising products which are defective or simply not able to provide the advertised benefits. However there seems to be a total lack of credence in the advertising of television channels. Whilst my appetite for television in general is modest, there are some subjects which pique my interest and which by definition would appear to provide material devoted to them. This is particularly true of the following three specialist channels;  History, The Discovery Channel and the Outdoor Life Network.
    I have a TV schedule to hand and note that the advertised products, far from being connected in any way with their advertised title, seem to be designed to appeal to those having little or zero interest in either History or Discoveries but instead are expected to possess an all-consuming addiction towards the acquisition of, restoring, pawning or auctioning of cars and a wide selection of various types of bric-a-brac. In some cases, merchandise is stored in containers, the contents of which are unknown and are selected blind by the participants in the show. On the page in front of me, The History Channel entices viewers with "Counting Cars", sandwiched between an hours-worth of "Pawnathon" and "American Pickers". Over the same time period, "The Discovery Channel" offers three auction shows, two episodes of "Shred" one of "Sons of Guns" and one of "Don't Drive Here". Having watched the latter offering, I will concede that since it takes place in Ulan Bataar in Mongolia, it gets a pass.
    However, the "Outdoor Life Network" really sets the bar for shows having no connection whatsoever with the listed subject. Consulting my TV schedule, I note that on Sunday afternoon their schedule consists entirely of thirteen back to back episodes of "The Liquidator"! Still it's not all bad. On July 25, the afternoon listings do offer a choice; between either Storage Wars, Storage Hunters or Storage Texas!

    Not only are they misleading, but within the space constraints of the tabulated schedules, the description of some shows are quite incomprehensible. I note that the listed OLN fare for the afternoon of July 28th, comprises no less than eleven episodes of "Bggg Bttls". It was only after viewing this gem that I was able to decipher that it is yet another auction show, "Baggage Battles", dealing with the auctioning of unclaimed articles left at airports, railway terminals etc. Again on OLN, a show oddly entitled Duck D (-admittedly outdoors) also offers eleven back-to-back episodes. Further investigation revealed that its full title is Duck Dynasty. This features a strange group of hersute "good old boys" -in fact their heads seem to comprise 90% hair! Whilst killing ducks seems to be the overall objective, details are unclear as without sub titles their accents are virtually unintelligible.

The "stars" of Duck Dynasty.

    However, the gold medal has to go to the History Channel with its Restoration show which basically seems to specialize in converting various types of junk into restored junk. With a schedule which hardly offers balanced and varied programming, on Sunday August 4th, it presents -wait for it. THIRTY NINE back to back episodes which run through the night to Monday morning!
    I am interested in certain sports but surfing through the channels where it might be expected to find a choice of athletic pursuits to select, the results are often frustrating. We have three "free" channels; "The Sport Network", "Rogers Sportsnet Ontario" and "Score". On one recent late afternoon all three were featuring POKER! What stretch of the imagination could possibly make a connection between sports with a card game? The participants with their baseball caps and omnipresent sunglasses appear the the very antithesis of athletes!  Maybe this sedentary phenomenon could be developed further to introduce a more sporty connotation requiring a modicum of cardio-vascular activity.  Why not offer such irresistible attractions as "Extreme Tiddly-Winks" where competitive Winkers vie to race ping their Tiddling pieces along a special "Tiddle track", or maybe why not feature "Snakes and Ladders" with real ladders and real snakes!
    Even when genuine sports are featured, they are mainly confined to the highly commercialized disciplines of Baseball, Football, Hockey or Basketball. In fact with the astronomical finances involved with each, it might be more appropriate to include the sports results as part of the daily Business Report.
 viz:  Here are the sports industry closing numbers;   "Boston 3 - Toronto 4 
                                                                            New York 6 - Chicago 2"
                                                                                       -and so on.
    Considering the veritable plethora of recreational pursuits available, it is just not acceptable to virtually ignore them all. To view the the recent and globally popular Tour de France bicycle race, it was necessary to go to an NBC feed -the pay channel, TSN2. In addition to cycling, there are activities such as Track and Field, Rock Climbing, Canoeing/kayaking, Sailing, Squash, Volleyball, Field Hockey, Rugby, Cricket and Lacrosse etc.  In the case of  lacrosse, the Toronto Rock, the only successful local professional team, receives scant recognition by the TV media.
    Finally, another irritant is the number of tedious shows featuring various self-opinionated talking heads of ex, wannabe or never-were jocks, forcibly expressing themselves on sporting minutiae or forecasting upcoming events.
    All in all, there is so much time filling involved it's almost enough to persuade viewers to turn off the TV and go outside for some exercise!